My girlfriend's name is Brae. This is her mouth. Amazing things happen when it gets hold of the English language.

Resembling at various times Reverend Spooner, The Bard and a Japanese novelty t-shirt, she is an endless wellspring of linguistic gems and curiosities.

What follows in an attempt to catalogue Brae's unique, creative and often baffling relationship with the spoken word.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

What kind of seizure?

Man, has it been a while.  Not for lack of material.  No, the girlfriend's mouth keeps on keepin' on.  It's just me and my laziness.

Well, I suppose I'm going to dust this off and give it another whirl.  There's been too much quality content being produced and enough public outcry that I really do need to get back to it.

So, without further ado...

This morning, Brae and I were lying in bed going through our usual rituals of rehashing our dreams and playing with our dog.  (Oh, we got a dog since I last posted.  Senator Edward M. Kennedy.  We call him Teddy to his face.  He just turned 1.  He's awesome.  I digress.)

Brae usually delivers A material in the morning.  Something about that twilight time finds gets the mouth firing on all cylinders.  She often fires off with some truly random absurdist gems, and this morning was gold.

With an exclamatory tone somewhere between Ron Burgundy and Flo telling Mel to kiss her grits she suddenly announced "GRANDMA SEIZURE!"

After a moment of bewildered laughter she hauled off with another: "EPCOT CENTER ON THE BAYOU!"

I think these are going to replace "Christ on a Crutch!" and "Merlin's Beard!" as my go-to exclamations from here on out.  

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