My girlfriend's name is Brae. This is her mouth. Amazing things happen when it gets hold of the English language.

Resembling at various times Reverend Spooner, The Bard and a Japanese novelty t-shirt, she is an endless wellspring of linguistic gems and curiosities.

What follows in an attempt to catalogue Brae's unique, creative and often baffling relationship with the spoken word.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Word of the Day

schnozzy: adj. characterized by being simultaneously stylish and arrogant.

snazzy + snobby = schnozzy

"That restaurant is schnozzy."

Sunday, March 28, 2010

"I think you just passed croths with someone."

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I was writing the blog update about gargyles last night and Brae was reading over my shoulder. She wanted me to make it clear that she wasn't paying attention to the show. You know, 'cause that would explain her spontaneous invention of the word gargyle.

She said to me, "can you write that I was just whimsilly walking in the room?"

"What the hell does whimsilly mean?"

"Ummm... whiskfully?"


"I don't know what I'm trying to say."

"That makes two of us, my dear."

Monday, March 22, 2010

The other night I was watching something on TV about the town of Argyle, TX.

Overhearing, Brae asked, "Is Argyle related to gargyles?"

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Brae + Scrabble = Brabble

Tonight the girlfriend and I went over to some friends' house for game night. After a quick round of Taboo we started up a marathon game of Scrabble. Early in the game the word LANE was on the board and Brae's turn came up. She added her letters to create FREELANE.

Everyone in the room said at once, "freelane?"

Brae replied, "Yeah, you know. Like the song... (Brae sings) We goin' ridin' in the freelane of love in a pink Cadillac."

Look out world, there's a new Queen of Soul.

Friday, March 19, 2010

"I just got oogled."

Almost sounds like someone used a search engine to leer at my girlfriend.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Word of the Day

unsportsmanshiplike: adj. nasty behavior on the field of play to the point of redundancy.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

"Let's get the ball on the road!"

Brae cracks the whip.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Word of the Day

crassy: adj. a seemingly impossible hybrid of crass and classy... perhaps.

"John, you're being crassy."

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

"I need to run down to the dollar store and pick up paperclips and vanilla envelopes."

Sounds delicious, honey.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

"State of the line."

State of the art + top of the line = totally awesome.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Today as we were cleaning our apartment Brae was talking about our houseplants and used the rather common mispronunciation "foilage." I paused and gave her a look to which she's grown quite accustomed.

She mockingly rolled her eyes and asked "Is that going in the blog?"

"Nah, that one's a little too common to be of interest," I assured her.

Brae got her composure and then with the utmost confidence corrected herself, "foyage!"

"Now THAT'S going in the blog!"